Monday, March 06, 2006


I returned home the other day after a particularly long day of complicated SDAs to find a belated birthday card from my best friend. Enclosed was a picture of us at her wedding, standing arm in arm as we did when we were kids.
Ever since, I have been pondering best friends and what that means. I have found that people use that term too carelessly, too superficially. A best friend is not a fair-weather friend. A best friend is not someone on your holiday card list that you think of once a year. A best friend is someone who has weathered many trials and tribulations with you. She shares your panic when you hear on the news that an escaped convict was last sighted in your hometown and races over to your parent-less house with a butcher knife...just in case. She fights with you about silly things, but is always there when you need her to ask a boy if he'll "go" with you, because she is much braver than you. She inspires you to try new things, constantly marveling at your achievements, no matter how small, and rarely acknowledging her pivotal role in who you have become.
I wonder if it is possible to form such close relationships as an adult. Or is it relegated to childhood, when you are learning as much about yourself as each other?


Gym Girl said...

I met my best friend as an adult. I think it takes longer to form that friendship because as adults we tend to be less trusting and less honest. But I feel closer to her than I feel to my childhood best friend. We live close to one another and we have gotten through some major adult challenges that my childhood best friend and I haven't shared because of distance. In a way it seems her and I share much more because as children you are held at times to boundries of neighborhoods and such and aren't privileged to pick and choose your friends. And although she'll never share my past she will definitely share my future.

define_me said...

Bestfriends can be extremely irritating and frustrating at times but despite it all you just know that you will always love them to death.

sister smile said...

I think adult relationships are often (note: I did not say always) capable of being deeper, richer, and more meaningful than childhood relationships simply because adults are more capable of dealing with the complexities and depths of friendship.

Having said that, one of my very best friends is someone I met nearly twenty years ago in college. He lives abroad now and I only see him every few years, but time falls away every time we make contact. All of my friends are precious, but someone who has hung in there that long has a special place in my heart and life.

Echo Mouse said...

Just popping in to say hello :)

Enjoy the card from your best friend. It may have been late but there may be a reason for that, a good reason I mean. If, however, she actually forgot your birthday, I'd say you two may be friends but the 'best' part may be falling by the wayside. As others said, as lives change, our compatibilities change. It's rare to have one best friend for life. Not impossible but really rare. Just don't count her out until you talk with her. Catch up a bit, see where her life is and assess whether you two communicate as well anymore.

Just my two cents of course ;)